Pokemon: Randomness Extreme: The Sinnoh Chronicles
by FoxMcCloud7921
Summary: When the trainer's away, the Pokemon will play. See what happens when Ash and Dawn go on vacation, leaving their Pokemon all by themselves. WARNING: READING THIS FIC COULD CAUSE A DIFFERENT LOOK TO POKEMON AND EFFECTS COULD BE PERMANENT!
1. Chapter 1

Pikette – Okay, maybe we should just skip this part-

Me – NO! I can't do that, because it breaks tradition.

Raiden – Tradition?

Me – That's right. It may be the most boring thing to do, but I got to do it. But enough of that, Pikachu, are you ready for this?

Pikachu – You bet I am.

Me – Good to hear. Now, to all my dear viewers, I must warn you. This fic that you are going to read… well I'm not going to lie it's messed up.

Pikette – Big time.

Pikachu – I can promise you that you will never look at Pokemon the same afterwards. Think of this story as a mixture of Pokemon Mystery Dungeon and Red vs. Blue.

Me – The bad part is, we're not even joking. Like, this is going to be the writer side of me you probably don't know me by. And trust me, it won't be pretty. I just hope all of you can handle it. But anyway, let's get this started! The song I have here is called "Super Massive Black Hole" by Muse. No, no credits music this time, I'm just gonna go into it. By the way, I do not own Pokemon.)

* * *

**Pokemon: Randomness Extreme  
**The Sinnoh Chronicles

Chapter 1

*Hotel Grand Lake. One of the most popular resorts in Sinnoh, almost all year round. Many people came to the five-star resort, including a couple of familiar characters. One, we all know so well, was lying in the pool on an inner tube, sipping on his drink with his shades on while on his phone.

"Guys, I'm telling you, it's amazing here," Pikachu said, talking to his old friends from Pallet Town. "Yeah, Ash and Dawn went on a seven-day cruise and they left us here, what luck. If you guys could, you should totally come down here." He then laughed. "Yeah, I know. Guess maybe if Ash had gotten with Misty you guys would've been somewhere like here too."

Meanwhile, Pikachu's friends were playing baseball, of all sports, on the beach. "Come on Monferno, you ain't got nothing on me," Buizel said, taunting him while holding the bat.

"Better watch it," Monferno said. "I tend to throw a rather mean curve ball."

"If that hits me in the face," Grotle said, who was playing catcher. "It is really, really, going to hurt." That's what happens when you tend to be the slowest of the group, no pun intended.

Buizel sighed. Sometimes he wished Grotle was such a retard. "Then close your eyes!" he snapped.

"Hey, you just focus on getting me home, alright Buizel?" Piplup asked, who was on second.

"Here it comes!" Monferno said. With a quick flick of the wrist, he fired the ball right at Buizel. Buizel, timing himself perfectly, swung and made contact, sending the ball and straight into the air. Monferno, a bit surprised, then screamed, "Staraptor!"

"Got it!" she said. She then flew into the air, following the ball and managed to catch it with her wing before it hit the ground. She then threw it in the opposite direction at a very high speed.

Piplup was running as fast as he could towards home base. However, as soon as he reached the home plate, the ball zoomed right towards Grotle, catching it with his teeth. "You're out," Monferno said.

"What!?" Piplup said angrily. "I was safe and you know it!"

"Sorry Piplup," Cyndaquil with a smirk on his face. "You were about half a second too late."

"_You were about half a second too late_," Piplup mocked him. "How about you go fuck off?"

"Nobody likes a sore loser, _Poochama_," Cyndaquil responded as Piplup walked away.

"Eat shit and die!" Piplup hated that name.

Meanwhile, on another part of the beach, Buneary and Pachirisu were sitting close to the ocean's edge, conversing. "I don't know, Pachi," Buneary said, calling her by her nickname. "Tonight's that party, and I feel like I should tell him, but I'm a little nervous."

"Don't be," Pachirisu said, smiling. "Besides, Pikachu already knows you like him. Maybe he's just waiting for you to admit it to him."

"Isn't he the one who's supposed to tell me?" Buneary asked.

Pachirisu shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe he's nervous too?"

"I don't know," Buneary said. "What do you think, Mamoswine? Mamoswine?"

They looked over and saw that was Mamoswine, as usual, was sleeping, causing both of them to sweatdrop. "Well, that's Mamoswine for you," Pachirisu said, smiling sheepishly.

* * *

Pikachu, who was still conversing on his phone, didn't happen to notice the baseball that suddenly plopped into the pool. Monferno, who had followed it, soon came up to the pool. "Hey, Pikachu!" he said. However, Pikachu didn't respond to him and kept talking on the phone. "Pikachu," Monferno then repeated. Still no response. "Oh for crying out loud, PIKACHU!"

"Can you guys hold on a minute?" Pikachu asked. He then looked to Monferno. "WHAT!?" he yelled, apparently annoyed.

"Can you get that ball for me?" Monferno asked.

"Hey, I gotta go so I'll talk to you guys later," Pikachu said, hanging up the phone. He then looked back to Monferno. "Why can't you get it?"

"Haha, very funny asshole," Monferno said.

"What?" Pikachu asked. "It's closer to you."

"Yeah, except diving into that water will kill me," Monferno said.

"Do you think that'll really happen?" Pikachu asked.

"I'll set your inner tube on fire," Monferno threatened.

"Alright, alright, I was just kidding," Pikachu said. He then jumped back into the water, got the ball and gave it back to Monferno.

"Thanks buddy," Monferno said. "So, you ready for that party tonight?"

"Sure am," Pikachu said, getting out and shaking himself dry. "We're gonna party tonight like it's 1999 all over again. What a year that was."

"I'm a little worried though," Monferno said.

"About what?" Pikachu asked.

"Grotle, since he's coming too," Monferno said. "You remember the last time he drank, when we first introduced him to alcohol?"

*Flashback*

"_Ugh, I don't feel so good," Grotle said. All six of them, including Piplup, were in Pikachu's room._

"_Hey, how you feeling buddy?" Buizel said, coming up to him. It was obvious that he was drunk. But then again, everyone was drunk. "How much have you had?"_

"_A bottle," Grotle responded._

"_A bottle!?" Staraptor said, who was the most drunk. "What a pussy! I can drink SO much more than that!"_

"_Aw, leave him alone, Staraptor," Monferno said._

"_Yeah, not all of us can drink down shots like it's water like you can," Pikachu said._

"_It takes… lots of practice," Staraptor said._

"_Whoa, you alright Grotle?" Buizel then said. "You don't look so good."_

"_Ugh," Grotle said._

"_Wait, what exactly did you have?" Pikachu asked._

"_Um… I think it was called… Skyy?" Grotle said._

"_WHAT!?" Piplup said angrily. "You drank my entire bottle of vodka!?"_

"_What the hell were you doing with that?" Monferno said._

"_Hey, vodka for me goes down easier than other things," Piplup explained._

"_Uh oh," Grotle said._

"_Oh shit!" Staraptor said, somewhat amused by this. "He's gonna puke!"_

"_Get him to the bathroom!" Pikachu yelled._

"_It's too far, just go to the window, Grotle," Buizel said. _

_Grotle went to the open window and that was when he spewed vomit like crazy. Unfortunately, he hadn't noticed there were other Pokemon walking outside below where he was._

"_Oh shit! What the fuck!?"_

"_Oh come on, I just took a shower!"_

"_Really, really!?"_

"_Son of a bitch!"_

"_I'm gonna kill the person who just threw up on me!"_

"Yeah, I remember that," Pikachu said. "But as stupid as Grotle may be, I think he learned his lesson."

"Well, just in case," Monferno said. "Maybe we should just leave back in the room."

"Yeah, probably a good idea," Pikachu said. "At least he can stay at home and watch Dora the Explorer."

* * *

(A/N: Okay, that will do it for chapter one. Alright, I know it wasn't real random, but trust me, it will and it will only get funnier. Trust me, I'm a pro when it comes to randomness.

Pikachu – Say what again! Say what again, I dare you I double dare you motherfucker say what one more goddamn time!

Told you.)

FoxMcCloud7921


	2. Chapter 2

(A/N: This is just a reminder to all you viewers that no Pokemon were harmed or suffered alcohol poisoning in this upcoming chapter.)

* * *

Chapter 2

Later on in the evening, everyone was getting ready for the big party tonight. Everyone showered, with the exception of Monferno, who had his own way of getting spruced up and still looking good. The hotel had a dance area including a bar which was just for Pokemon. From the looks of it, tonight was gonna be a good night.

Pikachu met with the others in the hallway. Buneary and Pachirisu were still in their room, getting ready and telling the others to go without them, which they did without question. Mamoswine, who wasn't much of a partier, was sleeping in his room. And Grotle, well, enough said. "Everyone ready?" Pikachu asked.

"Ready to get fucked up if that's what you mean," Buizel said.

"So Staraptor, how many shots do you think you can down tonight?" Monferno asked. "Because I bet I can drink more than you."

"Is that a challenge?" Staraptor asked.

"You bet it is," Monferno said with a smile. "Bring it bitch."

"Oh, it is _so _on," Staraptor said.

* * *

(A/N: Alright, I got all of you a nice little song here, which pretty sets the theme for this party, since it involves different names of mixed drinks. It's called "Shots" by LMFAO.)

* * *

*The group finally made their way towards the bar area, not surprised at all to see Pokemon there already. "Damn, so much for getting here early," Piplup said.

"Oh well, the night is still young," Cyndaquil said. "I'll find us a seat quick."

Pikachu then decided to get a bottle of the best liquor they could find and went up to the bartender. "What'll it be?" the bartender asked, who was a Kecleon.

"Give me a bottle of the best vodka you have," Pikachu said. Vodka was a common favorite between the group.

The Kecleon went back and came back with a bottle of Smirnoff. "It may not be the most expensive, but taste-wise it's definitely recommended," he said.

"I'll take it," Pikachu said, giving him the Poke needed. Pikachu then went back to the table with the bottle and shot glasses. "Alright everyone," he then said, as he poured everyone a shot. "I say right now we make a toast." They then raised their glasses into the air. "Here's to a good night, and hopefully we'll still be breathing by tomorrow morning." They then downed each of their shots in one gulp.

"You know what," Buizel then said. "I say before we go out there, we finish this entire bottle."

Monferno then eyed Staraptor with a grin on his face. "I like that idea."

"Get me three more shot glasses," Staraptor then said, a smirk on her face.

Monferno then realized he was truly being challenged. "Get me three as well," he said.

"No, fuck this," Pikachu said. "If you're doing that, then someone else is paying for alcohol because I ain't paying for all your shit."

With that, the battle begun. Both Monferno and Staraptor started downing the shots they had. "So Monferno, is it starting to burn your throat yet?" Staraptor asked.

"I'm a fire-type," Monferno said. "I don't feel a burn."

Once the bottle was finished, both of them clearly looked drunk, or at least were starting to. The bad part was that they were just getting started.

* * *

As the night progressed, it was a constant cycle of drinking and partying. Everyone at this point was practically smashed. Of course, that was then the karaoke machine came out. The group, including Monferno and Staraptor who took a break, got on top of the stage, and ended up singing "Friends In Low Places" by Garth Brooks. It would've been better if they were just a little bit more sober, but the crowd enjoyed it nonetheless.

"Wait a minute guys," Piplup then said while they went down.

"What is it Piplup?" Pikachu asked.

Piplup appeared to be a bit embarrassed as he started blushing slightly. "Well, I'm actually doing a song myself, solo," he said.

"Oh," Buizel then said. "Well, good luck man. We'll be cheering for ya." Well, all of them except Monferno and Staraptor, who had gotten back to their "battle."

Piplup then got back on stage and took the mic. "Hey everyone," he said. "This is Piplup again, and now I'm going to sing "Waiting For A Girl Like You" by Foreigner."

Everyone seemed surprised by the song choice. "Um, does Piplup have a girlfriend we don't know about?" Cyndaquil asked.

"Oh God," Buizel said, putting a paw to his forehead. "I hope this isn't about that Marill." Piplup then began singing:

_So long, I've been looking too hard, I've been waiting too long  
Sometimes I don't know what I will find, I only know it's a matter of time  
When you love someone, when you love someone  
It feels so right, so warm and true, I need to know if you feel it too_

Maybe I'm wrong, won't you tell me if I'm coming on too strong  
This heart of mine has been hurt before, this time I wanna be sure

I've been waiting for a girl like you to come into my life  
I've been waiting for a girl like you, your loving will survive  
I've been waiting for someone new to make me feel alive  
Yeah, waiting for a girl like you to come into my life

"Okay, maybe I stand corrected," Buizel said. Pikachu, however, had a possible idea about just who Piplup was talking about, but wasn't quite sure on it yet.

You're so good, when we make love it's understood  
It's more than a touch or a word can say  
Only in dreams could it be this way  
When you love someone, yeah, really love someone

Now I know it's right, from the moment I wake up till deep in the night  
There's nowhere on earth that I'd rather be than holding you tenderly

I've been waiting for a girl like you to come into my life  
I've been waiting for a girl like you, your loving will survive  
I've been waiting for someone new to make me feel alive  
Yeah, waiting for a girl like you to come into my life

All of a sudden Piplup, who was on the edge of the stage, suddenly felt something come up, quickly got on all fours and puked right over the edge. Unfortunately, someone just happened to be where he puked. "Aagh! WHAT THE FUCK!?" the Pokemon said, who happened to be an Empoleon. Feeling better, Piplup collapsed on the stage, now passed out.

"And there goes Piplup," Buizel said.

"Think he'll be alright?" Pikachu asked.

"Oh yeah, he'll be fine," Buizel said. "He's a tough little Pokemon." He then looked over to where Staraptor and Monferno were.

Monferno and Staraptor were staring at each other, bloodshot and wasted. "Come on, I bet you won't do it," Monferno said, slurring his words.

"I bet you I will," Staraptor said, her words slurred as well. She attempted to put the glass to her beak, but it proved to be too much as she collapsed in her seat.

"Ha!" Monferno said. "That's right bitch, I beat you! I totally-" But then he collapsed in his seat as well.

"Shit, we're dropping like flies," Buizel said. He then looked to Pikachu. "Hey Pikachu, how you feeling?"

"I'm alright," Pikachu said. He was wasted, but not at his peak yet.

"Cool," Buizel said. "How about you Cyndaquil?" He looked over and saw that Cyndaquil was passed out as well. "Nevermind," Buizel added. "Say Pikachu, what are we going to do now?"

"I don't know," Pikachu said. "I guess we'll just have to see what comes our way."

"Yeah, but dude," Buizel said. "We're totally fucked up right now." _"Just as I imagined."_

"I know," Pikachu said. "That being said, let's make sure we don't do anything stupid the rest of the night. Deal?"

"Deal," Buizel said, giving Pikachu a fist bump. If only, if only they were in their right state of minds.

* * *

(A/N: Oh man, and to think we haven't gotten to the real funny part yet, which is next chapter unfortunately. I had to cut it here for the purpose of the plot, but I will sure you that's just absolutely hilarious. Anyway, hope you enjoyed the chapter and more will be coming soon!)

FoxMcCloud7921


	3. Happy Holidays!

(A/N: Hello again, everyone. I would just like to take the time and explain one other aspect of this story. I've decided to these little skits every so many chapters depending on the occasion, this one rather obvious. As such, you will most likely see one after a previous chapter is done, meaning every time I do this, there will be either a chapter preceding it or coming after it. Now that we have that cleared, let's start this little skit!)

* * *

Pikachu – Hey everyone, Pikachu and the gang here. As we all know, Christmas is quickly approaching and everyone, including us, are excited for it.

Buizel – The holiday season can be fun, busy, and dangerous at the same time. It is a time for family, friends, and lots of eating.

Monferno – To show our appreciation for such a holiday, we have here the DO's and DON'T's of the holiday season, including New Years!

#1 – Reaction to a gift you did not want or get.

Staraptor – Oh yes, there have been plenty of times like this in most of your past Christmases. Here is what you _should _do in such a situation.

"_Here's your gift Pikachu," Monferno said, handing him a somewhat large box._

"_Cool, thanks," Pikachu said, taking the gift. He then opened it and saw what was inside. His face fell. "Oh, it's a sweater." A sweater that had Pokeball emblems in the front and sides._

"_Yeah," Monferno said happily. "Johanna was actually the one to make it for you, but it's my gift from me to you."_

"_It's… really nice." Pikachu said._

Buneary – Now, here's what you DON'T do if such a situation happens.

"_Here's your gift Pikachu," Monferno said, handing him a somewhat large box._

"_Cool, thanks," Pikachu said, taking the gift. He then opened it and saw what was inside. His face fell. "Oh, it's a sweater." A sweater that had Pokeball emblems in the front and sides._

"_Yeah," Monferno said happily. "Johanna was actually the one to make it for you, but it's my gift from me to you."_

"_What the fuck!?" Pikachu yelled, throwing the sweater to the side. "I don't want this shit! I fucking wanted either HeartGold or SoulSilver!"_

#2 – Driving on New Year's Eve.

Pachirisu – New Year's Eve tends to be one of the many occasions where people tend to get belligerently drunk, which is why your parents tend to tell you not to drive out at night.

Pikachu – What this means is that you could end up in an accident you may regret in the future. So please, make sure to stay indoors at night, especially if you have been drinking, or else something like this might happen.

_The house was rather calm with many Pokemon chatting about just how 2010 was going to end up. All of a sudden, a car crashed right through the window, causing everyone to scream and jump out of the way. Out of the car came Buizel. "Hey I'm on vacation! Happy Birthday Jesus! Seven maids are milking, six maids are milking! Five maids are-" He then passed out on the ground._

#3 – Drink plenty of eggnog.

Staraptor – What the!? Who the hell put this!?

Monferno – Grotle! Did you do this?

Grotle – Yes, because eggnog is really good.

Pikachu – No, only the real stuff with rum is good. Trust me.

Buneary – Well, that's all we have for today, but before we go, we would just like to wish everyone –

Everyone – HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

* * *

(A/N: Like they said, I wish everyone a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.)

FoxMcCloud7921


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

After what had been a very long night, Pikachu woke up to find himself in his own bed, somehow. He then checked himself for any injuries. Aside from his head throbbing like crazy, he seemed fine. He tried to get out and stand on his feet but that failed as he fell to the ground, still feeling the effects of last night. "Goddamnit," he said as he struggled to regain his balance.

He looked around to see the other guys lying in all sorts of places, whether it was the floor, the couch, or somewhere else. Well, seeing that no one else was awake just yet, he decided to take a shower, hoping it would help him sober up a bit. As he scrubbed his fur, he tried to recollect his thoughts from last night, but to be honest, he could only remember up to when Piplup threw up on stage. He then grinned and had to keep himself from bursting out laughing. Maybe he might not have been laughing last night because he was drunk but now, it was just too funny.

After getting out of the shower, he finally some of them waking up. "Hey Buizel," he then said. "How you feeling?"

"Like a shitload of Tauros just ran me over," Buizel said, putting a paw up to his head. "Ugh, what the hell happened last night?"

"Well, exactly what you wanted to happen," Monferno said, sitting up straight. "We all got completely fucked up."

"Ugh, you're telling me," Staraptor said. "Hey Monferno, you know who happened to win that game last night."

"Dude, I have no idea," Monferno said. "I think it was a draw."

"I'll accept that," Staraptor replied.

"But I definitely think Piplup got the worst of it all," Pikachu said.

"Why, because I puked?" Piplup said.

"Yeah, on stage actually," Cyndaquil said, who had now woken up.

"I don't know," Buizel said, smirking. "I think maybe Pikachu probably had the most interesting night of us all."

"What? How so?" Pikachu asked, giving him a dirty look.

"Well, you obviously don't remember, but Buneary and Pachirisu finally managed to show up last night," Buizel explained.

"Okay? So?" Pikachu said.

"Well, it kind of went down like this," Buizel said.

*Flashback*

_Pikachu, his vision greatly affected by the amount of alcohol he had consumed, was heading towards the bathroom. Then, all of a sudden, he almost bumped into Buneary. "Oh hey Pikachu," Buneary said. She then had a look of concern on her face. "Are you alright?"_

"_Oh yeah, I'm fine," Pikachu said, who was swaying a bit back and forth. "Just have to use the bathroom, that's all."_

"_Are you drunk?" Buneary asked._

"_Drunk? Hell no," Pikachu said. "Are you?"_

"_No, I've only had a couple drinks," Buneary replied._

"_Oh," Pikachu said. Then, out of nowhere, he then said, "Want to make out?"_

_Buneary was a little surprised by the question, but even Pikachu could see the fire in her eyes. "You bet your furry ass I do." She then launched herself at him, and both started making out instantly._

_Then, Pikachu practically drug her to the bathroom while locking the door-_

"Whoa! Wait a minute!" Pikachu then said. "There is no way in hell that that could've happened. I would never say that randomly."

"Well, alcohol does make you horny at times," Monferno said.

"True," Piplup said. "If D- I mean, Marill was there, I would've done her in seconds."

"Besides," Buizel said with a smirk. He then took out a camera. "I have pictures."

"You brought your camera?" Pikachu asked.

"Yep, take a look at these," Buizel said. Everyone then took a look.

"Oh… my… God," Staraptor said.

"Holy shit!" Cyndaquil said.

"Pikachu, I didn't know you were capable of doing that," Piplup said.

"I didn't know I was capable of doing that either," Pikachu said.

"Ooh, what are we talking about?" Grotle said, coming into the other room.

"Nothing Grotle," Buizel said. "Man, this will never get old."

"You know Buizel," Piplup said. "I wouldn't be talking smack if I were you."

"Wait, how the hell would you know?" Buizel said. "You were passed out."

"Well, I obviously woke up at some point," Piplup said. "Or else I wouldn't be here right now, would I? Anyway, I was about to head back before I noticed something… really interesting."

*Flashback*

_Buizel made his over to the bar table for yet another drink, perhaps his last one. "Disaronno on the rocks," he said to the bartender. While he waited, he heard someone crying to his right, and was surprised to see who it was. "Pachirisu?" he said, going up to her. "What's wrong?"_

_She looked to him, her face tear-stained. Apparently she had been drinking a lot. "Oh, it's nothing," she said. "Sorry, something's just been on my mind."_

"_Want to talk about it?" Buizel asked._

"_I… suppose so," Pachirisu said. "I have to admit, there was a time when I kind of had a crush on Pikachu. But Buneary obviously likes him more, and since she's my friend, I couldn't do something like that to her. Besides, I think Pikachu may actually like her." The tears then started forming in her eyes again. "I just feel like… there will never be a chance for me to be in a relationship."_

_Buizel sighed. He then rubbed her back gently to calm her down. "Pachirisu, listen to me carefully," he said. "Don't ever think you will never find someone meant for you. It's hard, but as long as you stay confident, I can assure you you'll find someone." Buizel was surprised that, even in his drunken state, he was able to produce such words of wisdom and encouragement. _

_Pachirisu then smiled and gave him a hug, catching him off guard. "Thank you Buizel," she said, causing him to blush. _

_However, she didn't quite let go. "Uh, Pachirisu?" Buizel said._

"_Your fur is so soft," she then said, causing him to blush even more. But that wasn't all that happened, as he felt himself becoming turned on. "Ooh," Pachirisu quickly said. She then looked to Buizel and there was a look of lust in her eyes. "Easy there partner." _

_Buizel, now having lost all control of himself, then pressed her against the table, his lips against hers as she put her tail around both of them._

"And then of course, they proceeded to start making out on the bar itself," Piplup said. "At that point, I just decided to leave. And so did the bartender."

Pikachu was on all fours, laughing his ass off. "Now that's even funnier than mine," he said.

Buizel, however, looked horrified. "That can't be true," he said. "You were still drunk, so how would you know?"

"Oh trust me, I saw it," Piplup said. "All I gotta say is I hope you either had protection or pulled out in time." The comment there horrified Buizel even more.

"Alright, I'm hungry, so let's get some food," Staraptor said.

They made their way to the cafeteria, where they were serving breakfast. Unfortunately, they saw that Buneary and Pachirisu were already there. "Okay, let's just act calm," Pikachu whispered to Buizel. "Maybe they don't remember last night."

"Pikachu!"

"Buizel!"

"_Aw shit," _both of them said in their minds as the two Pokemon went up to them and gave them a hug.

"I had such a good time last night," Buneary said, cuddling up next to Pikachu.

"Same for me," Pachirisu said, doing the same to Buizel.

Both of them instantly sweatdropped as the others could barely hold back laughter. "Um, listen, could you two excuse us for a second?" Buizel said, dragging Pikachu along with him. "Alright listen carefully Pikachu," he then said. "We both know the situation we're in. This is only the first stage, where that act all cuddly around us. Then, they're going to want us to take them on a date at some point. And then, they're going to want us to get them gifts."

"And you know all of this how?" Pikachu asked.

"Trust me, I know women," Buizel said. "The question is, what do we get them?"

"Oh, I think I know something good," Monferno said.

"What's that?" Pikachu asked.

"Well, if you think about it, it has to be something real nice," Monferno said. "I was thinking Pikachu, maybe we can visit Giratina and convince him to give you the Griseous Orb. I'm sure Buneary would like that."

"Yeah, that would be a great idea," Pikachu said. "Except how the hell do you expect us to get there, going all the way up to Mt. Coronet?"

"There is another way to get to the Distortion World," Monferno said. "Well actually, it's the only way now. We can go to Turnback Cave."

"Turnback Cave?" Pikachu asked.

"Yeah, it's right next to Sendoff Spring," Staraptor said. "Which is actually only northeast of here."

"So, is that the plan then?" Piplup asked.

"Wait a minute, what about for me?" Buizel asked.

"Um, look Buizel," Monferno said. "I'm gonna be honest, I don't think you two are really going to last real long. Think about it, do you like Pachirisu _that_ much?"

"Not like that," Buizel said.

"Exactly," Monferno said. "And Pachirisu only practically did it because she was drunk and horny, so it's no surprise."

"Hey!" Staraptor said, whapping him in the back of his head with her wing. "Are you suggesting all we want when we're drunk is cock in and around our mouths?"

"Maybe," Monferno said. "You're one to talk."

"I hate you so much," Staraptor said.

"I know," Monferno said.

"Alright, then I guess that's the plan then," Pikachu said. "Shouldn't be too hard. Guess I better let her know what's going on." He then went over to Buneary. "Hey Buneary, listen me and the gang are gonna be running some errands today."

"Aw," Buneary said. "For what?"

"I can't say," Pikachu said. He then managed to fake a smile. "It's a… surprise."

"Ooh!" Buneary said. "Okay then, I'll be waiting when you get back."

Pachirisu then looked to Buizel, but he didn't really acknowledge her. "Alright, we're good to go then," Pikachu said.

"But just in case, someone will have to stay here and keep an eye on them, in case something comes up," Monferno said.

"Hey, don't look at me," Piplup said. "You think just because I'm Dawn's Pokemon I'd be willing to do it? Hell no. They'll drive me crazy."

"Fine, I'll do it," Cyndaquil said.

"You?" Piplup said. He then busted up laughing.

"What?" Cyndaquil asked. "Something wrong with that?"

"Oh no, no," Piplup said. "By all means, do so." _"He has no idea what he's getting himself into."_

"Ooh, Pikachu!" Grotle said. "Can I come? Can I come? Please, please, please?"

Pikachu looked to the others, who then reluctantly nodded. Didn't really have a choice. "Sure Grotle, of course you can come," Pikachu said.

"Oh boy!" Grotle said. "This is going to be, the greatest adventure ever."

* * *

(A/N: Oh, and it sure will be, you just wait. Well, now that we all know just what happened last night, we can finally get the plot moving in this story. Hope you all found it amusing and more shall be along the way soon.)

FoxMcCloud7921


	5. Dear Sister

(A/N: Okay, if you've never heard of this before, then you should look up "Dear Sister" from SNL. Anyway, there's a song that has to be played every time something happens. The song is "Hide and Seek" by Imogen Heap. Except the part you need to skip to is 2:50, and pretty much let it play until about 3:22. Look, I'm saying this because it's what makes the whole skit funny. Just remember the whole "*" thing.)  


* * *

Pikachu was inside his room, writing on a piece of paper. Buizel soon came in. "Hey man, what'cha doing?" he said.

"Oh, I'm just writing a letter to my sister," Pikachu said.

"Cool," Buizel said.

"Yeah, it's weird," Pikachu said. "I haven't seen her in years. It's just weird because-"

*Suddenly, there was a gunshot and Pikachu soon saw blood on his paws. He turned around to see Buizel with a gun in his paw. Pikachu couldn't say anything, going numb all of a sudden, and then fell to the ground. He then stared into nothingness, his expression never changing. Buizel dropped the gun and then let out a deep breath, not believing what he just did. He paced slightly in the room, wondering what to now. He put a paw to his head, stressing out what he was going to tell everyone.

*Then, another gunshot rang out and Buizel, feeling the shot, saw the blood on his paws as he turned around to see Pikachu, who had still been alive, now holding the gun. Buizel's breathing increased as he then stumbled and then fell to the ground. The last he saw was Pikachu falling back onto his back, now dead for sure. And now, both of them were dead, side by side. The room was quiet until-

"Guys, I just thought of the funniest thing," Monferno said, coming into the room. *Immediately, there was another gunshot and Monferno then looked down to see blood leaking out of his chest. He looked to Buizel, who had fired the shot, the gun in his hand. Monferno then fell to his knees and then fell flat onto the ground. And the last thing he saw was Buizel falling back to the ground, dead.

Then, Pichu came into the room, looking to see the three bodies on the ground. She saw the piece of paper on the table and started to read it. _"Dear Sister, by the time you read this-" _*There was another gunshot, this one fired by Monferno. Pichu quickly looked to him but then- *Another gunshot rang out, this one fired by Buizel. Pichu grimaced in pain as another bullet hit her. *Then another bullet rang out, fired by Pikachu this time, he being the most reluctant to. *Monferno fired, *and then Buizel fired, *and then Pikachu fired again, and the gunshots went on and on until finally Pichu fell to the ground dead as well.

Soon, the sounds of sirens were heard as two Growlith entered the room. "Wow, we got ourselves a bloodbath," the first Growlith said.

"Hey Sard, listen to this," the second Growlith said. _"Dear Sister, by the time you read this, I'll be dead. This is how I think it's going to happen. Buizel will shoot me, then I'll shoot Buizel, and then Monferno will come in and get shot by Buizel. And then you will come in and get shot by Monferno, Buizel and I multiple times. Love, your brother Pikachu. P.S. Then two cops will read this letter and shoot each other." _Now isn't that the most ridiculous thing-?"

*Suddenly, Sard fired his gun at his friend, *while the other Growlith shot back. The two shot each other to death and were both dead before they fell to the ground.

THE END


	6. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

_Pikachu and friends continue their journey onwards towards Turnback Cave, hoping to find Giratina and convince him to-_

"Okay seriously, shut the fuck up narrator dude!" Pikachu snapped. "I've had to hear your shit for twelve seasons, going on thirteen!"

The group was making their way towards Sendoff Spring, where Turnback Cave was located. "Man, I still can't believe the shit we did last night," Buizel said as they made their way on Route 214.

"Well, that was nothing compared to the one incident we had," Pikachu said.

*Flashback*

"_Hey guys," Grotle said, coming through the door in Pikachu's room. "Look what I found." He was carrying two large pouches._

"_What is that?" Monferno asked._

"_I don't know," Grotle said. "Looks like powdered sugar and parsley. Some guy outside was nice enough to give some for me, even though I paid a lot for it."_

"_Let me see this," Pikachu said, opening the bag of white powder. He stuck some of it in his mouth and instantly froze. "Grotle," he then said. "This isn't powdered sugar. This is fucking cocaine!"_

"_What!?" Piplup almost yelled, flinching after yelling so loud._

_Staraptor then opened the other bag and took a whiff. "And this is fucking pot!"_

"_Oh shit!" Buizel then said. "We got to get rid of this shit quick! With this amount of drugs, if the cops come, we're so fucked." All of a sudden there was the sound of sirens. _

"_Aw crap," everyone said.  
_

_*COPS theme begins playing*  
_

"_Well, we've been called because there's a rumor that some Pokemon in the hotel have possession of illegal drugs," a Growlith said. "So we're going to check it out and see what's going on." He and his partner then knocked on the door._

"_Shit!" Pikachu then whispered. "Buizel, hide that shit!" He then opened the door. "Oh hello officer, is there something I can do for you."_

"_We've heard rumors that someone in this area of the hotel may be in possession of illegal drugs," one of the Growlith said._

"_Oh, I see," Pikachu then said._

"_May we come inside and inspect the area?" the other Growlith said._

"Warrant. Warrant. Warrant!" _"Um, sure," Pikachu said._

"_Alright everyone, just stay where you are and remain calm," Growlith said. "My partner and I are just checking the area and if it's clean, we'll be on our way."_

_Buizel knew just how fucked they were, but then saw the tennis ball on the ground and an idea came to his mind. "Hey officers," he said, picking up the ball and held it up in his hand. "Do you want the ball?"_

_Immediately, their heads turned in his direction. "Ball?" they both said._

"_Buizel…" Pikachu said warningly._

"_You want the ball?" Buizel asked. "You want the ball?"_

"_Yeah we want the ball!" both of them said, panting while having their tongues out, ready to play._

"_Go get it boys!" Buizel said, throwing the ball far out the door. _

"_Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy!" they said as they quickly went after it._

_Buizel then quickly closed the door and locked it. "Okay, they'll be gone for awhile," he said. "That'll give us enough time to get rid of this."_

"_Dude, why would we want to do that?" Pikachu asked. "We should just smoke and snort all this shit."_

"_You can't be serious," Buizel said._

"_Oh, but I am," Pikachu said.  
_

_

* * *

(A/N: Just to make it even more hilarious and for the hell of it, I decided to put this song into the scene. It's "Paper Planes" by MIA.)  


* * *

_

_*Two Hours Later…_

"_I think… this was the best idea I ever came up with," Pikachu said as he took another puff of the joint he had. "Hey Buizel, what do you think now?"_

"_I'm so stoked right now," Buizel said, and it showed as his eyes were bloodshot. But then again, everyone's eyes were bloodshot. "Maybe I was wrong. Hey, can you light this for me, Monferno?" Monferno then lit the joint for him._

"_HOLY SHIT!" Piplup yelled, his nose covered in white powder. "I AM SO FUCKING CRANKED RIGHT NOW!"_

"_Yep, he's feeling good right now," Monferno said._

"_Hey Pikachu," Staraptor said. "Do you think we have drug problems?"_

"_I don't know, possibly," Pikachu said._

"_What would Ash and Dawn think of us?" Staraptor then asked._

"_That we would need rehab," Buizel said._

_All of a sudden, the door busted open, and the two Growlith soon came into the room, one of them with the ball in their mouth. "Oh boy," Pikachu then said. "Hey officers, we have some left if you're interested."_

_  
One Hour Later…_

"_Dude, I cannot believe we're still part of the force," one of the Growlith said. "We should've quit years ago."_

"_Well, I don't think it'll matter now," the other said. "Because once this is found out, we're as good as fired."_

"Oh man, that was hilarious," Monferno said.

"You know, I've been thinking about something," Staraptor then said. "Since we just happen to be on a route where other trainers may be located, won't they attempt to capture us?"

"Ah, but that is where you're wrong," Piplup said confidently, a smile on his face. "Most trainers in this area would most likely have low leveled Pokemon, which wouldn't be a bother to us."

"Yeah, unless they happen to have all high-leveled Pokemon," Pikachu said.

"Nah, I think we could handle them," Buizel said. "Now let's see. We shouldn't be too far from the spring now. Just have to go through these rows of trees and that should be about it."

"Now that I think about it," Piplup then said. "I remember another incident where we all did something completely stupid and retarded."

"Oh, you mean the sumo wrestling incident?" Monferno asked.

*Flashback*

"_Hey Piplup," Grotle said while in Johanna's kitchen. "We should totally sumo wrestle."_

"_Sumo wrestle?" Piplup asked. "I don't know maybe someone else should do it."_

"_Come on, it'll be fun," Grotle said. Piplup sighed and then went up to him. "Okay, on the count of three, I try to push you and you try to push me. One, two , three!" Grotle then sent Piplup right across the kitchen, running right into all the glasses and dishes on the shelves before falling to the ground._

_He then got up angrily. "What the hell man!?" He then kicked the chair down in anger and started walking away._

"_Aw, come on Piplup I'm sorry-"_

"_No! No!" Piplup said furiously. "You know what Grotle!? It's not cool! IT'S NOT COOL!"_

"No… not that one," Piplup said testily. "I meant the one with the Ipecac."

*Flashback*

"_Alright here are the rules," Pikachu said. "We each drink an entire bottle of Ipecac. Whoever lasts long enough gets the last bowl of Pokemon food. Bottoms up." He, along with Buizel, Monferno, Piplup, Staraptor, and Grotle who were all sitting on the couch, chugged their bottles of Ipecac. "Alright, how's everyone feeling."_

"_Pretty good so far," Buizel said._

"_Good to go," Monferno said._

"_Not bad," Piplup said._

"_Ready to win this," Staraptor said._

"_Is this cherry flavored?" Grotle asked._

"_Cool, cool," Pikachu said. "You know, Johanna is one heck of a cook, and I know for sure that Pokemon food is gonna taste pretty-BLEEEH!" He all of a sudden puked, gushing out a ton of vomit._

"_Well, that's one down," Buizel said. "Better watch out because- BLEHHH!" He then puked as well._

"_I'm not feeling so well," Grotle said, grimacing in pain._

"_Well I feel just fine- BLEHH!" Monferno then puked as well._

"_BLEHH!" Staraptor then puked as well. "Oh God, why didn't anyone tell me it was gonna be this bad-BLEHHH!"_

"_Oh my God my insides are burning-BLEHHHH!" Piplup said._

_Soon everyone started puking. "Pikachu, I'm scared," Grotle said._

"_Someone call 911!" Staraptor said._

"_Ash! Dawn! Somebody get in here!" Pikachu yelled as he puked, causing himself to hit the wall._

"_Okay, okay," Monferno said, standing up slowly. "I think it's stopped. I'm going to-BLEHHHH!"_

"_Make it stop! Make it stop! Make it stop-BLEHHHHHHH!" Piplup cried out while puking. "Oh God Dawn please help me!"_

"_Buizel-Buizel, hold me by the ears!" Pikachu said as he puked again, but then Buizel puked as well and Pikachu's face was covered in vomit._

_The six of them were groaning on the floor, some of them crying. "Who wants seconds?" Johanna said, coming out while the mention of food caused everyone to puke again._

"Yeah, Johanna wasn't too thrilled about that episode," Staraptor said.

"Tell me about it," Pikachu said. "I got the worst of it. Johanna, Ash, and Dawn gave me a verbal lashing."

"Yep," Piplup said.

Soon, they finally came across to Sendoff Spring, and across from it was Turnback Cave. "Well, there it is," Monferno said. "There's some sort of portal that leads to the Reverse World in there."

"Well, this ought to be fun to do again," Buizel muttered. "Let's just make sure to make this quick."  


* * *

(A/N: And that will end chapter four. Man, I love how like three quarters of the chapter were flashbacks. But they were too good to withhold, so I hope you got a good few laughs with that. Anyway, either next chapter or the one after, expect a sudden plot change. Yes, I said plot change.)

FoxMcCloud7921


	7. Chapter 5

(A/N: This is an idea I came up with last night, and I can't believe I'm doing it but here we go. For this one upcoming scene, I'll be using the song "Waltz of the Flowers" by Pyotr Illyich Tchaikovsky, but you might want to skip slightly to the good part. Trust me; it's funnier than you think.)  


* * *

Chapter 5

Pikachu instantly became pissed the second they got into the cave. "Okay, no one told me that this whole damn cave was all foggy!" he said irritably.

"Oh, didn't I mention that?" Monferno said, smiling sheepishly. "Yeah, the cave is foggy so it's kind of hard to find the right area."

"Aw, it can't be that difficult," Buizel said, walking forward. "We just walk forward and- ow shit!" He had walked into some sort of rock information in the middle of the area they were in. "What is this?"

After their eyes adjusted, they saw the figure in better detail. "It looks like some sort of sculpture," Staraptor commented.

"Ah yes," a voice suddenly sounded across the room. "This here is my masterpiece. I made it myself. Take a closer look. Do you like it?" Clearly alarmed by the voice, they took a closer look at the sculpture, but looking closer at it, they saw it as a more deformed shape, not really able to tell what exactly it was. "Well, do you like it?"

"Oh, yeah," Pikachu said. "It's real nice. Isn't it guys?"

"Oh yeah, yeah," the others said together.

"Oh, what's that look on your face?" the voice then said. "You don't like it, do you? I don't need to be judged by you! By any of you! SCREW YOU! SCREW ALL YOU FUCKING HATERS! HERE'S WHAT I SAY TO ALL OF YOU!" *Suddenly, the room got even darker and music started playing, classical music at that. "Fly away little birds! FLY!"

"What the fuck!?" Pikachu cried out loud. Then suddenly, about five Haunter and Gastly showed. "Oh shit, RUN!"

They ran into the next room, which was just as foggy. "What is this, a maze!?" Piplup cried out as they continued running.

"Aw, screw this!" Buizel then said, turning around and using Water Gun on the ghost Pokemon, causing them to back off slightly. "Yeah, don't mind me guys, I'll take care of these guys by myself."

"Oh go fuck off," Pikachu said as he came back to help, firing off a Thunderbolt. "Come on, let's just find that damn portal and get the hell out of here."

Of course, the more places they went, the more Pokemon that showed up, causing them to become outnumbered. "Son of a bitch!" Monferno cried out as he used Fire Spin. "I'm starting to regret ever coming here!"

Soon however, the ghosts stopped and then went away. "I am sorry for that "outburst,"" the voice then said. "You'll have to forgive an old fool with such temperaments." The fog then lifted and right in front of them was the portal that led to the Reverse World.

"Man, what is it with psychopaths these days?" Pikachu said. "People have been playing too much BioShock."

"Well, at least we weren't tied to a piano rigged with explosives," Staraptor said.

"We'll never find out who that was, will we?" Piplup asked.

"I thought he was nice," Grotle said, causing everyone else to sweatdrop.

"Okay, can we just get go now?" Piplup said. "This place creeps me out enough as is."

"Yes, lets," Pikachu said as he went first through the portal, followed by the others.  


* * *

Once they hit the ground, all on top of each other, they groaned in pain. "You know, I don't remember the last trip being so painful," Monferno said.

"That's because Pikachu and I were the only ones out of our Pokeballs," Piplup reminded him as they all got up. "So, where do you reckon we are at the moment?"

"Giratina is around here somewhere," Pikachu said. "Don't worry; he'll remember us from before." He then went up to the edge of the rock they were standing on. "Hey, Giratina!" No answer. "Giratina, it's me Pikachu!" Still no answer. "DOUCHEBAG!"

"Did I hear my name?" Giratina suddenly said, coming up behind them in the air. "Oh, I did. Wait, are you the same Pikachu from the eleventh and twelfth movies?"

"Yes, I am," Pikachu said. "We saved you from Zero and you helped us out in Michīna."

"Oh, okay," Giratina then said. "Oh that's right, you guys helped me out from that ship that almost killed me which would've resulted in a Pokemon actually dying."

"_Does everyone forget about Latios?" _Pikachu thought. _"Well, it wasn't that great of a movie anyway." _"Hey listen, I personally need a big favor from you."

"No problem," Giratina said. "I practically owe all you my life."

*Sweet music begins to play*

"Well, you see," Pikachu began. "There's this… girl I know back home. Well, truth is I think I am really falling in love her."

"Go on," Giratina said.

"Anyway, I feel like I need to get her something real special, because I really think she deserves it," Pikachu continued. "So, I was wondering if I could have the Griseous Orb that you have."

*record skips*

"Oh," Giratina said, looking uncomfortable. "Um, listen Pikachu. I know for sure that this girl of yours is real special, but the Griseous Orb well… it's really important to me, and I can't give it away. Sorry."

"Oh. I see," Pikachu said. He then turned around and walked a couple steps. "You know," he then said. "I helped save your life and you can't even repay me for one small favor!"

"Oh Arceus, here we go," Monferno groaned. "He's using that card now."

"Knock it off Pikachu!" Staraptor snapped. "You should be a bit more considerate of others and not just yourself!"

"Shut up, you didn't really play a role in the eleventh movie!" Pikachu snapped back.

"He's got a point there," Buizel pointed out.

"Ugh! Whatever," Staraptor said.

"Alright, alright," Giratina then said. "I mean, I don't really need it _that _much so I guess I could let you have it."

"No! No fucking way!" Raiden suddenly said, appearing out of nowhere. "I practically almost gave my life trying to get that back to you Giratina and you're just gonna give it away. What the fuck!? Fuck you!"

"Raiden, what are you doing here?" Pikachu asked. "Aren't you supposed to be in Jubilife right now?"

"Oh yeah!" Raiden said, disappearing quickly.

Giratina then summoned the Griseous Orb. "There she is, my pride and joy," Giratina said. "Just make sure to take good care of her."

"I will," Pikachu said, taking the Orb. "Thanks a lot Giratina."  


* * *

(A/N: Okay, to avoid spoilers, something will about to happen. I can't say just yet, but there's a song here that you need to play and YOU MUST play it every time this character shows up. The name of the song is "Start Wearing Purple" by Gogol Bordello.)  


* * *

Suddenly, the Orb disappeared out of his paws. "What the fuck!?" Pikachu cried out, looking around. "Where the hell is it!?"

*He then heard laughter and the entire group turned around to see an Alakazam carrying the Griseous Orb in his hand. "I cannot believe you all fell right into my hand," he said. "How amusing is this?"

"Hey, that's mine!" Pikachu said.

"Ahem!"

"Okay, its Giratina's but he gave it to me," Pikachu corrected himself. "So give it back!"

"Gee, I didn't realize you were into such jewelry," Alakazam said. "Or maybe it's for your lovey-dovey. Aw fuck it, I might just take your shit and sell it on EBay."

"You asshole!" Pikachu said angrily.

"I'll buy it," Grotle said.

"Not now Grotle," Buizel said quietly.

"Well, this was a nice short conversation," Alakazam said. "But I have some things to take care. Till we meet again…" He then teleported away.

"GODDAMNIT!" Pikachu yelled. "Why must all my shit be taken!?"

"Now let's just calm down," Monferno said.

"How can I calm down!?" Pikachu said. "I dragged my ass all the way here for something and it got taken away. That shit doesn't fly with me! Giratina, aren't you going to do something?"

"Sorry, it's your shit now," Giratina said calmly. "You go get it yourself."

"Fucking asshole," Pikachu said. He then saw a portal that had opened. "Come on, we're getting out of here." Once everyone went through the portal, he was the only one left. He then turned back to Giratina, still pissed off. "You know, I take it back," he then angrily. "Maybe it was stupid what I did that day. Maybe I should've had let Zero have his way and just left you to die!" He then stopped suddenly, a shocked look on his face. "I'm sorry. That was in bad taste. Um, I'm just going to leave now." He then went through the portal, leaving Giratina behind.

Giratina, however, could no longer hold out the straight face and then burst out laughing. _"If only you knew Pikachu," _he thought to himself.  


* * *

(A/N: And that will end it here. So we have finally met the antagonist of the story, if you can call someone who listens to Michael Jackson too much and has temper problems an antagonist. Anyway, hope you enjoyed the somewhat short chapter, but more will be on the way soon!)

FoxMcCloud7921


	8. Pikette's Rap

(A/N: Just to let everyone know, Pikette totally wanted to do this. If you listen to the song "Natalie's Rap, you'll understand.)  


* * *

Chris Parnell – We're sitting here with guest star Pikette.  
Pikette – Hello.  
Parnell – So Pikette, what's a day in the life of a Pokemon like?  
Pikette – Do you really want to know?  
Parnell – Please, tell us.

Pikette – I don't sleep motherfucker off that yak and that Durban  
doin 120 gettin head while I'm swerving.  
Raiden – Damn Pikette, you're a crazy chick.  
Pikette – Yo shut the fuck up and suck my dick!  
I bust in dudes mouth like gushers motherfucker,  
roll up on NBC and smack the shit out of Jeff Zucker

(What you want Pikette?)  
Pikette – To drink and fight!  
(What you need Pikette?)  
Pikette – To fuck all night!

Pikette – Don't touch me when I'm crazy off that airplane glue  
put my foot down your throat till your shit's in my shoe.  
Leave you screamin, pay for my dry cleanin,  
fuck your man, it's my name that he's screamin.

Parnell – I'm sorry Pikette, are we to believe you condone driving while intoxicated?  
Pikette – I never said i was a role model.  
Pikette – But what about the kids that look up to you, do you have a message for them?

Pikette – All the kids lookin up to me can suck my dick!  
It's Pikette motherfucker,  
drink till I'm sick!  
Slit your throat,  
and pour nitrous down the hole  
watch you laugh and cry  
while I laugh you die!  
And all the dudes, you know I'm talkin to you  
(We love you Pikette!)  
I want to fuck you too!  
(P!)  
is for Pikette!  
(P!)  
is for pussy!  
I'll kill your fuckin dog for fun so don't push me!

Parnell – Wow Pikette, I'm surprised all this from a Harvard graduate.  
Pikette – Well there's a lot you may not know about me.  
Parnell – Really, uh, such as?

Pikette – When I was in Harvard i smoked weed everyday  
I cheated every test and snorted all the yay.  
I got a def posse, you got a bunch of dudes  
I'll sit right down on your face and take a shit!

Pikachu – Pikette, you are a badass bitch.

Pikette – Hell yeah!  
Pikachu – And I always pay for your dry cleanin  
when my shit gets in your shoe

Pikette – What!!!  
Pikachu – And as for the drug use, well I can vouch for that.  
My dick is scared of you, ohhhhhh.

Parnell – Okeedoke, Pikette, one final question.  
If you could steal a smooch from any guy in Hollywood, who would i-?

Pikette – *smashes chair against Parnell's head* No more questions.

FoxMcCloud7921


	9. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"Well, this was some trip," Pikachu said miserably. "All this bullshit for nothing."

"Oh come on Pikachu," Buizel said. "You can't give up that easily."

"What's the point?" Pikachu asked. "That asshole stole the only possible thing I could give to Buneary. How the hell would I know where he could be?" And it then became one of those moments where the good guy says something similar to that and a glimmer of hope appears.

Suddenly, there came a "Psst!" from somewhere up in the trees and the entire group looked around. "Up here!" They looked in the same direction and saw a Honchkrow up in the trees. "Were you talking about a certain Alakazam?" it asked.

"As a matter of fact, yes," Pikachu said, wondering how things like this always seemed to happen.

"Well, it just so happens I can pinpoint where he is," the Honchkrow said. "He stole something from you, did he not?"

"I don't know about this Pikachu," Monferno said. "He's seems like the shady type."

"You mean like Eminem?" Grotle said, causing everyone to face-fault onto the ground.

"No, I think he means one you cannot trust," Piplup said.

"I would keep your mouth shut if I were you," the Honchkrow said.

"What was that!?" Monferno asked. "You want me to tan your feathers bird!? Not exactly heat resistant are they!?"

"Alright, alright, sheesh," the Honchkrow said. "Anyway, he has a little fortress somewhere close to Eterna City. If you look hard enough, you can't miss it."

"Eterna City. Fortress. Got it," Pikachu said.

"Hey wait!" the Honchkrow said. "I helped you, so I get something in return!"

"Okay… then what do you want?" Pikachu asked.

"Hey babe," the Honchkrow said to Staraptor. "People call me Isaac Hayes; can I give you the shaft?"

"Fuck off scumbag!" Staraptor snapped, glaring at him.

"Whoa, she's a fiery-type," the Honchkrow said. "Oh well, can't blame a Pokemon for trying." With that, he then took off.

"Eterna City?" Piplup asked as they changed direction, heading towards Veilstone City. "Damn, that's practically on the other side of Sinnoh."

"Looks like we're going to be gone longer than expected," Buizel said.

"Oh well, that's more time for Cyndaquil to suffer," Piplup said, smirking.

"You really hate him, don't you?" Monferno asked.

"No, I don't hate him," Piplup replied. "It's just competition between us and I feel like making him suffer a little bit."

"Buneary's probably going to wonder where I am," Pikachu then said.

"Say Pikachu, just wondering," Buizel then said. "Have you ever liked someone before Buneary?"

"Actually, yes," Pikachu said. "One we won't talk about."

*Flashback*

"_Fuck you Pikachu!" Pikette said to him before slamming the door right in his face._

"There was someone else, years ago that I fell in love with," Pikachu said. "I can remember like it was yesterday…"  


* * *

(A/N: Okay, this is mostly just for humor reasons, but the song I'm using here is called "Romeo and Juliet Love Theme" from the one and only Pyotr Ilich Tchaikovsky.)  


* * *

*Flashback*

_HAL Laboratories – 2001_

_Pikachu was just outside the auditioning room, waiting while reading the newspaper, the one article stating, "Microsoft reveals XBOX: The newest addition to the console wars"._

"_Ha, XBOX," Pikachu said. "Like that's going to last real long…"_

_*"Excuse me?" a female voice then said. "Is this the auditioning place for Super Smash Bros. Melee?"_

"_Yes," Pikachu said, looking to the source of the voice. "It's right…" His mouth almost dropped, looking at the person in front of him._

"_Hi there," the Pokemon then said, smiling. "My name is Pichu. I was invited to be part of the roster for this game."_

"_You're beautiful!" Pikachu suddenly blurted out._

"_Uh, what?" Pichu then said. Pikachu, no longer able to control himself, suddenly got out of his seat and suddenly pressed his lips against hers. Pichu eyes lit up in surprise but then closed as she started kissing him back._

"Wait a minute!" Monferno said. "You were making out with a minor!?"

"I was a minor too nine years ago!" Pikachu retorted. "I couldn't help it. Hormones at that point were on overdrive."

"So what happened after that?" Buizel asked.

"Well, things went well for awhile," Pikachu continued. "Melee was a huge hit and everything was good between us. But, once 2008 hit, things kind of went bad. Masahiro Sakurai and the rest of the staff decided to cut her from the roster and well, Pichu wasn't happy about that. She thought it was because no one had liked her on Melee. Then, one day, she just disappeared and I haven't seen her since."

"Wow, that's really sad," Piplup said.

"Eh, oh well!" Pikachu said, his mood changing. "That was her decision, not mine. Most likely she's working at some sort of brothel. Poor girl."

"What's a brothel?" Grotle asked. "Is that like a soup kitchen?"

"Sure Grotle, we'll go with that," Pikachu said, while he and the rest of them sweatdropped.

"So, we just have to head through Veilstone, then through Eterna Forest?" Staraptor asked.

"He said somewhere around Eterna, yes," Pikachu said. "Guess it shouldn't be too hard, right?"  


* * *

_Two hours later…_

"Fuck my life!" Pikachu said, collapsing to the ground.

"We're lost, aren't we?" Piplup asked.

"Looks like it," Buizel said.

"Fuck this, I'm from Kanto," Pikachu said. "I wouldn't know shit about any of these other regions." All of a sudden, they heard music coming from nearby.

'Music?" Staraptor said. "Here?"

"Wait a minute…" Pikachu said, recognizing the tune. "It couldn't be…" He then ran over through the bushes until he found the source. There were about six other Pikachu, but Pikachu himself recognized one in particular. "Sparky? Is that you?"

His friend turned around to face him. "Pikachu?" he asked.

"Yes, it's me. Ash's partner," Pikachu said.

"Holy shit!" Sparky said, coming up to him and giving him a hug. Pikachu noticed he was wearing a lot of bling. Not to mention the transparent sun glasses he was wearing. "How's it hanging man?" he then said, giving him a fist bump. He then saw the others. "Is this your crew?"

"Yep, from here in Sinnoh," Pikachu said. He then introduced everyone. "So what are you doing out here? And where's Ritchie?"

"Well, Ritchie is on vacation, strange huh?" Sparky said. "As for me, I think I'm gonna get into the music business."

"Really?" Pikachu said. "That's awesome!"

"I know," Sparky said. "Make money, get bitches. That's how we roll. What about you though?"

"Well, it's kind of an interesting story," Pikachu said.

"Pikachu is getting a gift for his girlfriend," Buizel then said.

"Girlfriend!?" Sparky almost yelled. "Holy fuck! I didn't know that!"

"Yeah, funny isn't it?" Pikachu said, laughing weakly.

"You've been going after that, haven't you? Tapping that ass?" Sparky said, grinning. "GET SOME! That's what I always say."

"Yeah, I have," Pikachu said, thinking about that messed up night. "What about you Sparky? You have a girlfriend?"

"Yep, they're right behind me," Sparky said, and that was when Pikachu they were all female.

"Oh…" Pikachu said. Sparky had definitely changed a lot since the last time he saw him. Especially since he apparently had five girlfriends at once. But then again, fame and fortune can get to you. "Hi everyone," he then said to all of them. "Well Sparky, I hate to leave so soon, but we need to head to Eterna City."

"No big deal," Sparky then said. "We're heading the other direction actually. Hey, make sure you keep in touch, alright?"

"Got it," Pikachu said with a smile.

"Come on, ladies," Sparky said and both groups went their separate ways.

"Well, you definitely have some interesting friends Pikachu," Monferno said after they continued on their way.

"He wasn't always like that," Pikachu explained. "I don't know, guess people can really change over time."

"Why do I have this feeling we're going to end up having real random encounter later on in this?" Buizel asked. If they only knew how right his question was…  


* * *

(A/N: Okay, so maybe this was a tad shorter than usual, but I kind of ran out of ideas for this particular chapter. Anyway, hope you still enjoyed it and hopefully by next chapter I'll end up coming up with more ideas. Until then, summer is only about five months away…)

FoxMcCloud7921


	10. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"So Pikachu, any other interesting stories you've never told us?" Staraptor asked as they continued on their way.

"Why do you ask?" Pikachu replied.

"Well, the last one you had was rather humorous," Buizel said. "And I know for a fact that you still have some skeletons left in the closet."

"Fine, you want to hear a story?" Pikachu said. He then took a deep breath. "Back in the day, when I was younger… well, I kind of got into some bad company, if you know what I mean. I had this friend of mine, or associate, named Lee, who was a Raichu. One day, we had to go to this person's apartment because apparently they had something of large importance."

*Flashback*

"_So Lee, what exactly are we doing here?" Pikachu asked as he and Lee were driving in a '97 Buick Lacrosse._

"_You heard the boss," Lee said. "Apparently some nimrods managed to get a hold of a big stash of money that one of our associates lost. Now we gotta get it back."_

"Wait a minute!" Monferno said. "Since when the hell can Pokemon drive cars!?"

"Okay, maybe the car wasn't exactly ours," Pikachu said.

*Flashback*

_Ten minutes earlier…_

_Lee and Pikachu went up to a person in a 1997 Buick Lacrosse. Lee then pulled out the gun he had and shattered the window. "Get out of the car! Get out of the fucking car!" Lee yelled._

_The human who unfortunately had to be there started panicking and yelling since there was a Raichu pointing a gun at him. Screaming, he got thrown out and the two Pokemon got into the car and sped off._

"Anyway, let me continue," Pikachu said.

"_Hopefully they didn't spend the money yet," Pikachu commented._

"_Let's put it this way," Lee said. "If we don't get the answer we want, they're as good as dead." Once they got to the apartment, Lee didn't even bother to knock and just went right in. "Hello fellas," he then said calmly. "Hope we weren't…bothering you."_

"_You two cops or something?" one of the Pokemon asked, who happened to be a Croconaw._

"_I'd cut that attitude bullshit right away," Lee warned, causing the Pokemon to have a look of fear on his face now. "Now, I believe it was a couple days ago one of you managed to find a briefcase with a large amount of money in it. Where is it?"_

_The other Pokemon looked at each other in panic. "It's in the living room," another Pokemon said, who was a Larvitar. _

"_Go look for it," Lee said to Pikachu, who nodded and went into the living room. "Now, I better hear a good reason for all this if you all want to get yo' asses out of this one."_

"_Can I just say something?" the Larvitar said. "Look, we didn't know who the briefcase belonged to and we didn't know the shit we were getting in. We're just regular people."_

"_Hey Lee, I think I found it," Pikachu said._

"_Are we good?" Lee asked._

"_Oh yeah, we're good," Pikachu said._

_Lee then decided to pull out his gun and shoot the Croconaw. "Oh I'm sorry did I break your concentration?" he asked the Larvitar as he looked back at him, shocked and horrified. "I didn't mean that. Please, continue. You were saying something about just being regular people? What's the matter? Oh you were finished! Well allow me to retort. What does he look like?"_

"_What?" the Larvitar said._

_Lee then threw over the table that was sitting in front of him. "What country you from!?"_

"_What?"_

"_What ain't no country I ever heard of! Do they speak English in What?"_

"_What?"_

"_English motherfucker do you speak it!?"_

"_Yes!"_

"_Then you know what I'm saying!?" Lee said. "Now, what does he look like? The man you went after?"_

"_W-what?"_

"_Say what again!" Lee yelled while pointing his gun straight at Larvitar. "SAY WHAT AGAIN! I DARE YOU I DOUBLEDARE YOU MOTHERFUCKER SAY WHAT ONCE MORE GODDAMN TIME!"_

"_He was a Luxray!"_

"_Go on!"_

"_He was rather big."_

"_Did he look like a bitch!?"_

"_What?" All of a sudden a gunshot rang out and he yelled while clenching his shoulder._

"_DID HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH!?"_

"_No!"_

"_THEN WHY YOU FUCKING HIM LIKE ONE!?"_

"_I didn't!"_

"_YES YOU DID! You went after him and ganged up on him since you knew you're weren't a match for him by yourselves." He then paused. "Have you ever heard the passage Ezekiel 25:17? The path of the righteous man? __The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides with the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name of charity and good will shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon those with great vengeance and with furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know that my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.__" He then started shooting while Pikachu did the same, killing Larvitar instantly._

_Once it was done, Lee then saw a Plusle cowering on the floor. The Plusle then said, "Please, don't kill me! I didn't go after anyone I swear!"_

"_We might want to get him out of here," Pikachu said._

"_Right," Lee said. "Alright you, you're coming with us."_

_After they got back to the car, they then headed back towards their hangout. "You know I was thinking back to when we met up with those thugs in Vermillion," Pikachu said._

"_Not this shit again," Lee muttered._

"_Seriously, you know what I'm talking about," Pikachu said. "Guy runs towards us with a magnum, unloads all six rounds and they all happen to miss us."_

"_Yes, it's called he sucks with a gun," Lee said._

"_I still think it was some sort of miracle or-"_

"_Get the fuck out of my face with that shit!" Lee snapped._

"_Plusle, what do you think?" Pikachu asked._

"_Dude, I don't even have an opinion," Plusle said._

"_But you got to have an opinion," Pikachu said, turning around in his seat. "What, do you think some being came down and-"_

_It was rather unfortunate for Plusle since Pikachu was non-intentionally pointing his gun at him and something caused the gun to go off, causing the entire car to be splattered in blood._

"_Aw what the fuck!?" Lee said, almost causing the car to swerve as he wiped blood off his face._

"_Oh shit I just shot Plusle in the face," Pikachu said._

"_Why the fuck would you do that!?" Lee yelled._

"_It was an accident!" Pikachu said. "You hit a speed bump or something."_

"_I didn't hit no damn speed bump," Lee said. "Shit, we got to get the fuck out of here. I ain't never forgiving for this. This is some fucked up repugnant ass shit!"_

"Wow…" Everyone then said after the story _finally _ended.

"You cease to amaze us with your stories," Piplup said.

"Except that sounds very similar to Pulp Fiction," Monferno said.

"Yeah," Pikachu said. "Well blame the author, he's the one who wrote all that shit."

"He's a fucking tool," Buizel said. "What? Someone was going to say it…"

"Speaking of tool, where's Grotle?" Staraptor asked. They looked around but Grotle was not there.

"Aw shit, was no one watching him?" Piplup asked.

"Wait a minute," Pikachu then said. He could hear something. "I hear Grotle, he's close." As they headed towards the voice, they could hear it much clearer.

"There's no need to be shy," Grotle was saying. "They're pretty nice guys and all. You just have to get used to them."

It was coming from some of the bushes and Pikachu went through, saying, "Grotle, who are you talking to- HOLY SHIT!"

"BLARGH!" There was a Tyranitar standing next to Grotle, and a big one at that.

"Stop," Grotle said. "He won't hurt you. He is my friend. He hasn't bitten me yet."

"Blargh honk," the Tyranitar said.

"Okay, maybe just once," Grotle said.

"Blarg blargh," the Tyranitar said with a smirk.

"I think I might need a rabies shot," Grotle said.

"Holy shit, that's a huge Tyranitar," Piplup said.

"Yeah, you can smell it's breath a mile away," Monferno said. "Smells like someone vomited into a bucket of shit."

"BLARGH!!!!" the Tyranitar said angrily.

"I don't think he liked that too much," Piplup said.

"Grotle, are you sure about this guy?" Pikachu asked. "Why can't he talk?"

"Maybe he's retarded," Monferno said.

"Blarg…" the Tyranitar said, somewhat offended.

"It's okay," Grotle said. "They don't think you have autism."

"You can understand what he's saying?" Staraptor asked.

"Holy shit, it smells like somebody just dumped a bucket of diarrhea all over the place," Buizel said, coming over.

" Hrr…. Honk…" the Tyranitar said.

"Wait a minute, I think I'm hearing a pattern," Pikachu said. "Blarg comes after Honk… or is it vice versa?"

"I think Blarg means… blarg means me. Or. Apples," Grotle said. "Wait, is Apples the name of your child? Quick, is Apples stuck in the well?"

"Well can he understand us?" Pikachu asked. "Mr. Tyranitar dude, can you understand us?"

"BLLLLAAAARRGGGHHH!" the Tyranitar said.

"I have no idea if that meant yes or no," Pikachu said.

"So much for the vice-versa theory," Buizel said.

"You're all retarded," Monferno said. "There's no way you're going to be able to learn what it's saying. Just give it up. For all we know, his language could be telepathic, or via smells."

"If it was via smells, you should already be fluent in that," Pikachu said. "Jackass…"

"Blarg honk."

"Oh shut up, you're not helping," Pikachu said.

"I've decided to call him Crunchbite," Grotle said.

"I'm sure he's got a name," Pikachu said. "Hey Tyranitar, what's your name?"

"Honk Honk."

"No, not honk honk," Pikachu said. "This is Buizel. Buizel. You are…?"

"Honk Honk."

"Your name."

"Honk Honk."

"Your _name_?"

"Honk Honk."

"I give up," Pikachu said. "All he says is Honk Honk."

"Well, did you ever think or consider that his name was Honk Honk?" Staraptor asked.

"Blarg?" the Tyranitar said, looking at her.

"That's retarded," Buizel said.

"Yeah, what kind of name is Honk Honk?"Piplup asked.

"Blarg?" The Tyranitar then looked to Piplup.

"Hey, is your name Honk Honk?" Buizel asked.

"Blarg."

"Wait a minute, I think Blarg means yes," Pikachu said. "Hey, does blarg means yes?"

"Blarg."

"Holy shit! Blarg means yes! I'm communicating with him!" Pikachu said.

"Unless he was saying no," Staraptor said. "Which means he could've said no, blarg does not mean yes."

"What? No way. Hey Honk Honk, am I right?" Pikachu asked.

"Blarg."

"Ha, what the fuck do you know?" Pikachu said with a smirk.  


* * *

(A/N: And that will end this chapter. Perhaps you can see where I get the inspirations to for the flashback and Tyranitar. Anyway, hope you enjoyed it and more will be arriving soon!)

FoxMcCloud7921


	11. Chapter 8

(A/N: Hey, you hear about Zorua and Zoroark? Zoroark will be in the new Pokemon movie!)  


* * *

Chapter 8

"Alright, so what are we going to do with this guy?" Pikachu asked.

"Well, it's obvious he has a home somewhere," Buizel said. "The question is where?"

"Blarg blarg blarg blarg," Honk Honk said.

"Now what's he saying?" Monferno asked.

"I think he's saying, "Blarg blarg blarg blarg,"" Grotle said,

"No dumbass," Pikachu said. "He meant what is he saying in English?"

"We really need a translator or something," Piplup groaned.

"Yeah, I'll get my blarg to English dictionary," Staraptor said sarcastically.

"You know, he might want to go home…" Buizel said.

"You are a fucking genius," Pikachu said. "Never would've thought of that…"

They continued on the route they were on, heading towards Eterna City. They were getting close to Veilstone now, and had to find a way to get around it. "Say Pikachu," Monferno said. "Are you sure Grotle can take care of this guy? He can barely take care of himself."

"I know what you mean," Pikachu said. "God, I can remember that one time he accidentally started watching Tourettes Guy.

*Flashback*

"_Hey Pikachu, can I use the computer?" Grotle asked._

"_Fine, but don't break anything or tamper with anything," Pikachu said as he got off and went into the living room of the suite they were in._

_Grotle then got on and saw the page was still on YouTube. "Hmm…YouTube…" He then said. "Wait. What is this?" he asked, clicking on the one video._

"_You motherfuckers! PISS! Go count your dick!"_

"_Ooh, that's not nice…" Grotle said._

"_Let me tell you about a porcupine's ball! They're small, and they don't give a shit!"_

"_Uh oh, maybe this wasn't such a good idea…" Grotle said._

"Oh yeah, I remember that," Monferno said. "Oh God, I remember that one time we went bowling…"

*Flashback*

"_Oh yeah! That's two strikes for me now!" Buizel said with a smirk on his face._

"_Don't you dare get cocky," Pikachu said, who from his pissed off look was not having as good a game. "I swear to Arceus I will kick your ass if you don't stop."_

_Grotle then went to bowl and unfortunately got only six pins. "Fuck!"_

_Everyone then stared at him. "Did he just drop an F bomb?" Piplup asked._

"_That he did," Monferno said. Unfortunately, it didn't stop there._

"_Shit!"_

"_You can suck my dick!"_

"_Fuck!"_

"_Fuck!"_

"_Um, excuse me?" one of the attendants there said, coming up to them. "I would like to ask if you would keep it down, you're bothering some of the other people here."_

"_Actually we were just leaving," Pikachu said, now even more pissed he couldn't get in another game._

"Well, at least that phase passed," Pikachu said. They soon were in another woodsy area and they started hearing chatter. "What's going on?"

They followed the chatter until finally they stopped dead in their tracks. Somehow, in the middle of the woods, there was now a club/strip joint right in front of them. Not to mention also a really big tree house and tiki bar. "What the hell?" Piplup asked.

"This is new…" Staraptor said.

Soon, one of the doors opened and a Raichu came out. Apparently he was yelling at someone. "I don't give a damn what he thinks about the place, he can kiss my ass!" He then looked to the group of newcomers. "What the hell do you want?"

"Um… we're just coming through," Monferno explained.

Raichu looked at them for a couple seconds. "Okay, you guys are alright," he said. However, he then looked to Pikachu. "But you, YOU!"

"What the fuck did I do?" Pikachu said angrily.

"You don't remember me, do you?" Raichu asked.

"Well, I only knew three Raichu and they were all assholes," Pikachu said. "Wait a minute, are you the one who has a trainer who think he's black?"

"Wasn't his name Sho?" Piplup asked. "What a wanksta."

"Hey! Don't be dissing my trainer!" Raichu said. "Anyway, you got lucky last time…"

"Lucky!?" Pikachu said, now infuriated. "I almost died!"

"Okay, it wasn't meant to happen like that…" Raichu said. "Besides, I wasn't calling the shots at the time…" He then smiled. "How about a rematch?"

"Huh?"

"Just for old time's sake," Raichu said. "Come on, it'll be different since both you and I have improved."

"YEAH! KICK HIS FUCKING ASS!" They looked up and there was the same Pichu Pikachu had met before who belonged to Sho. Now he was the one who was a complete asshole.

"You little fucker!" Pikachu yelled. "I'll fucking kick your ass!"

"Bring it bitch! Bring it!" Pichu said, almost tempted to come down there himself.

"He doesn't mean that," Raichu said. "PICHU SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

"Those two must love each other…" Buizel muttered sarcastically.

"Blarg, blarg…"

"Alright, so what do you think Pikachu?" Raichu asked.

"Fine," Pikachu said. "It's been awhile since I had a good fight anyway."  


* * *

(A/N: Okay, so maybe I decided to go a little retro… So what? It's always a classic, having Pikachu vs. Raichu. Anyway, the name of the song is "Kanto Wild Pokemon Battle" from the anime.)  


* * *

*"Well, that's what I like to hear then," Raichu said, smiling, and all of a sudden charged using Quick Attack. He then attempted to use Iron Tail but Pikachu dodged it with ease.

"Come on," Pikachu said with a smirk. "You think I'm gonna fall for that again?"

"Maybe not that, but try this!" Raichu said and all of a sudden, he disappeared in a flash one second and the next second was behind him and used Focus Punch, knocking Pikachu in the back of the head.

"Okay, I didn't see that coming," Pikachu said, getting to his feet. "Fine then. Guess it's time I come up with a new trick of my own." He then used Agility to move back quickly and then used Volt Tackle from a far distance to build up momentum.

"Oh crap!" Raichu then said and used Volt Tackle as well. The two met head on but because of Pikachu having more momentum, Raichu was knocked back and his back hit the tree behind him, causing a grimace of pain before falling to the ground. "Ugh…" He then got up and shook himself. "Damn, you have gotten stronger…"

"I told you…" Pikachu said. He then rubbed the back of his head. "But you've gotten better yourself."

Raichu grinned sheepishly. "Yeah, I guess I have. Anyway, since you're here now, how about you guys stay awhile and check the place out?"

"What do you think guys?" Pikachu asked.

"Oh hells yeah!" Monferno said, going right into the strip joint.

"Pervert…" Staraptor muttered.  


* * *

(A/N: And we have ANOTHER song, and this one's a fun one. XD The name of this song is "Kylie" by Akcent. I love European Techno…)  


* * *

*"Well, looks like he's eager," Raichu said with a smile. "Here, I'll give you guys a tour."

"Wait, is this only a female stripper joint?" Staraptor asked.

"There's a gay section on the other side," Raichu replied.

"Oh shit!" Staraptor said, flying inside, causing Raichu to sweatdrop slightly.

"Anyway, I better show you inside," he said, the others following him inside. Once they went in, they couldn't believe their eyes.

The inside was just as impressive as the outside. Where they were in the front was an entire club area, with a dance floor and everything else while in the back there were about ten different strippers grinding on poles. "Raichu, did you make this all by yourself?" Pikachu asked.

"Well, with some help," Raichu said. "Sho went back home for awhile and left me and Pichu with some of our friends here, and the idea came to mind. By the way, I hand-picked the strippers, mostly because they're hot, clean, and give great head." He then smiled and winked. "I think you should go see one of them. You need the stress taken off of you. I know I do for sure."

Piplup then patted Pikachu's shoulder. "He's right, you do need to release some stress."

Pikachu sighed. "Fine…" He then went over to the back of the room while the others stayed in the club area. It was actually the first time he had ever gone to such a place, so this was a new experience for him. He saw another Pikachu and thought maybe it was best to go to her.

"Hi there stranger," she said seductively, coming up to him once he took a seat. "Feeling stressed and bored?"

"Yeah," Pikachu replied. "Um… how much are you going to want, because-"

"Don't worry hun, you're cute enough so it's on the house," the female Pikachu said, going up to him and getting on top of him, giving him a lap dance. Pikachu could instantly feel himself blushing. The female Pikachu soon stopped and sniffed slightly, and then looked to Pikachu in surprise. "Pikachu?" she then said. "Is that you?"

"Umm… yes?" Pikachu said uncertainly.

"It's me! Pichu!" she said, who was obviously not a Pichu anymore. She then instantly gave him a hug.

"Pichu!?" Pikachu said while getting hugged. "It's you? But what are you doing here?"

She broke away and he could see the sadness in her eyes. "I know you must be upset at me," she said, looking away from him. "I just left you like that… without even a good reason."

"Pichu…" Pikachu said, going up to her. "I know you were upset and all, and I can understand. But… you didn't have to leave."

"I know," Pichu said. "I was being stupid. And while I was away, I met Raichu and he pretty much took me in. Do I enjoy doing this? Well… not exactly, but what else can I do right now?" She then smiled. "But… you're here now and I want to make it up to you."

"Uh, how?" Pikachu asked.

Pichu's smile then turned to a smirk. "You'll see." She then pinned him against the chair. "Just relax and let me do all the work."

"Wait uh Pichu? I don't… think…" His eyes then widened in surprise as Pichu had gone down and was doing business. Then his eyes closed slightly in lust and he could feel his animal instincts kicking in. As soon as she got back up and looked to him, both of them had smiles on their faces. "Outside?" Pikachu asked.

"You bet your sweet ass," Pichu said, and Pikachu took her paw and they went rushing towards the front entrance.

"Um, Pikachu?" Buizel asked as the two passed him and Piplup.

"Not now Buizel!" Pikachu yelled back as the two went outside.

"Um Buizel?" Piplup asked. "What just happened?"

"No idea…" Buizel replied. "Should we check it out?"

"I don't know, but I got a bad feeling I'm going to regret doing so," Piplup said as they both went outside.

"Wait, where did they go?" Buizel asked. They wouldn't have to wonder long…

"OH MY GOD PIKACHU YES! LIKE THAT! HOLY SHIT YOU'RE JUST AS GOOD AS BEFORE!" Apparently Pichu was getting it from behind.

Both Pokemon sweatdropped. "Um…" Buizel said.

"Yeah, I knew it was a bad idea coming out here," Piplup said and the both of them quickly went back inside.  


* * *

(A/N: Well… that was the most interesting ending to a chapter I had ever done… _ Um… anyway… yeah I don't know what to say after that… Sorry people…)

FoxMcCloud7921


	12. Chapter 9

(A/N: Oh how I hate when things like this happen. Sorry for the long wait people. Schoolwork + Mass Effect 2 = almost no writing done. Not to mention the site wasn't playing nice either. XD I can't help it, Mass Effect 2 is just that awesome of a game.)  


* * *

Chapter 9

After Pikachu was finished "taking care of business," he returned to where the others were. "Hey Pikachu, you're finally done giving it to her?" Monferno asked.

"Yeah," Pikachu replied. "How did you know?"

"The screaming stopped," Piplup said. "We could hear _everything_."

"Sorry about that," Pikachu replied. "She's a screamer. Hell, I remember we used to always keep the neighbors up at night."

"Speaking of which, where is she?" Buizel asked.

"Well, I came up with an interesting plan," Pikachu said. "I knew I had to leave her for Buneary, but I couldn't break her heart, especially after that. So, I found someone who looks just like me and is as perverted as I am. They'll both be happy."

"Wait a minute," Buizel said. "If you were going to leave her, then why do it with her?"

"It's simple," Pikachu said, putting his arm around Buizel. "We Electric-Types are amazing at sex. You know, with all the electricity flowing through us. It's kind of hard to describe."

"You're disgusting," Staraptor said, glaring at him.

"Hey, with all the boob-squeezing and leg-humping I've done (A/N: And you know what he's talking about!), you can easily see how perverted I am. So, what are you guys doing?"

"Teaching Honk Honk how to read and speak English," Monferno said. Pikachu looked over and saw Honk Honk and Grotle at a chalkboard.

"When we went into Grotle's secret stash, we saw it was loaded with crayons," Buizel said.

"And you think teaching him English will work?" Pikachu asked.

"Of course," Buizel said. "Everyone around here practically speaks English."

"Buizel, there are hundreds of different languages spoken in this world," Pikachu reminded.

"Yeah, and only one that kicks ass," Monferno said. "And that's English. English 101."

"Not to mention we're teaching him very important survival skills, like making a fire," Buizel added.

"Speaking of fire, I need a smoke," Monferno said, taking out a cigarette.

"Since when the hell did you start smoking?" Piplup asked.

"Well, it's not like I can't handle it," Monferno said, putting the cigarette in his mouth.

"Still bad for you," Staraptor reminded him.

"Whatever," Monferno replied, lighting himself up.

It was in that moment that he lit the cigarette that Honk Honk turned around. "Blarg?" He then saw the fire and smoke. "Blarg!" He then raced towards Monferno.

"Ah, what the fuck!?" Monferno said as Honk Honk jumped on him and started beating the crap out of him.

"Wow Monferno," Pikachu said, laughing. "He either really hates fire, or really hates you!"

"Ah!" Monferno yelled.

"I think maybe he doesn't like smoking," Buizel said.

"Not the face! Not the face!" Monferno cried out.

_Fifteen minutes later…_

"Ow…" Monferno groaned as he got up. "My entire body hurts…"

"Blarg blarg, honk blarg blarg blarg!" Honk Honk said.

"Yeah, I agree," Pikachu said.

"How the hell would you know what he's saying!?" Monferno snapped.

"I don't," Pikachu replied. "I'm just agreeing with what he's saying. But, most likely he's saying what a complete dumbass you are. And I would definitely have to agree."

"Fuck you," Monferno said.

"Honk."

"Don't even talk to me."

Soon, the group left the strip club. Raichu told them before they left they were welcome to come back at anytime. "I might even consider doing that," Buizel said. "There were some pretty hot chicks there. I could bang any of them."

"You do realize you have a female right behind you?" Staraptor asked.

"Your point?" Buizel asked.

"You want to get kicked in the balls?" Staraptor said with a glare, using Intimidation.

Buizel winced slightly. "No, especially if they're clawed," he said.

"Good, then keep your fantasies to yourself," Staraptor said.

"Staraptor, were you happier before as a Starly?" Pikachu asked.

"Oh yeah," Staraptor said. "But there's nothing I can do now."

"Speaking of which, I'm pretty sure Pidgeot is uber pissed right now…" Pikachu said, remembering his close friend. She hadn't been too much different than Staraptor, but he was sure now she was much bitchier and pissed that Ash had practically abandoned her.

All of a sudden, his phone started ringing. "What the?" He looked at the number. "Don't recognize this number…" He then picked up. "Hello?"

"Well hello there," a familiar voice said. "Hope you had a safe trip back?"

"You motherfucker!" Pikachu growled. "As a matter of fact, we're heading to your place right now and we're gonna give you a proper ass-whooping."

"No, I think it is you who will be getting an ass-whooping," Alakazam said. "You do not even know what I'm capable of doing. Besides, it's not like I don't have friends."

"Oh what? The imaginary ones or the young ones stuck in the closet?" Pikachu asked.

"You bastard!" Alakazam said angrily. "You think you're so high and mighty because you think the world loves and adores you. But times are changing boy, and you won't always be on top. There'll be someone to take your place and I will make sure to be there when you're all depressed and crying on the floor!"

"Are you done rambling yet?" Pikachu said, rather irritated now.

"Fine, but just remember what I said," Alakazam said before hanging up.

"Was that who I think it was?" Buizel asked.

"Yeah," Pikachu replied. "Fucking asshole."

"Okay, so pretty much we have to go past Veilstone City, Solaceon Town, Celestic Town, and Eterna Forest," Piplup said. "This is definitely going to be a long trip still."

"And it's starting to get dark," Staraptor said. "We may need to find some shelter."

"Good idea," Pikachu said. He looked over to an open clearing. "Well, this looks appeasing enough."

Unfortunately, as it turned out, that proved to be wrong once they went over to that clearing. Because soon before they knew it, about two canisters shot into the air and onto the ground, dispensing some sort of gas. "What the hell!?" Piplup said, who suddenly started coughing.

"Oh shit, its sleeping gas…" Buizel said, falling asleep and soon the others did the same.  


* * *

What felt like hours later, the group soon found themselves in some sort of hole. "Oh Arceus, now what the hell happened to us?" Monferno said.

"Well, we were obviously gassed," Buizel said.

"And we're in a hole," Piplup added.

"It felt good to sleep," Grotle said. "At least we didn't get the bad gas that those people with tattoos got." Nobody even bothered to tell Grotle that he had just said.

Staraptor then looked up. "Wherever we are, we won't be able to get out," she said. The hole had been covered with a grate. Even Staraptor wouldn't be able to inch through.

"Well, obviously this was a trap," Pikachu said. "But by whom I wonder…? Hey, where's what's his face?"

"Blarg blarg, blarg blarg!" They looked up and saw Honk Honk standing right above the grate.

"Crunchbite, how did you get up there?" Grotle asked.

"Wait a minute…" Pikachu said. "Hey buddy, try using Hyper Beam to melt that grate off."

"Honk blarg blarg!" Honk Honk then said.

"What are you yelling about now, Honk Honk?" a voice then said. However, it sounded like one of those voice boxes that you hear nowadays.

"Blarg blarg, honk!" Honk Honk said.

"What are you talking about? They have to be female, I mean they looked it."

"Dude, what the fuck!?" Pikachu yelled upwards.

"Huh?" the figure said, looking down. Apparently he had his appearance covered as well. Pretty clever on his part. "Wait a minute, are you all seriously male?"

"Well…" Pikachu said. Staraptor suddenly gave him a death glare. "Why is that a big deal?"

"Sorry, I got things mixed up," the figure said. "For some reason, we had thought you were all female. It was kind of hard to tell at a far distance and all."

"How the fuck did they screw that one up?" Piplup said.

"Um… okay?" Pikachu said. "But why capture us in the first place?"

"Well, if you had been female, what we would've done after you all woke up was bring down a bottle of lotion, made you all put it on so you all glistened, and then me and my friends would've knocked you all out again and then rape you," the figure said.

"Oh… my God," Monferno said.

"But we're not gay," the figure continued. "We are totally straight. I think it's all been proven for us. Anyway, sorry about all this. I'll get you something to climb out with."

After about five minutes, they were all out of the hole. "So, is Honk Honk a friend of yours or something?" Buizel asked.

"Oh yeah," the figure said. "Seems he went out a little too far and got lost. I appreciate you getting him back to us."

"Um… no problem," Pikachu said, still feeling awkward in this situation. "So uh, I guess you're not gonna tell us who you are?"

"Sorry, can't," the figure said. "I could be so fucked for this."

"Whatever, we need to get going anyway," Pikachu said.

"I'm going to miss you Crunchbite," Grotle said.

"Blarg, blarg blarg honk, blarg blarg, blarg, blarg," Honk Honk said.

"Aw, that's nice of you," Grotle replied.

"What did he say?" Monferno asked.

"He considers us great friends and hopes he gets to see us again," Grotle said.

"Wow, really?" Piplup asked.

"Actually, he said you're all pieces of shit and deserve to die, and he hopes he never runs into such a bunch of retards ever again," the figure said.

"Yeah, that sounds more like it," Buizel said.

"Okay, can we just leave?" Pikachu asked.

"Yeah, we'll just say all this never happened," the figure said. "Hopefully we won't have another encounter like this again."

"Got that right…" Pikachu muttered as the group continued on their way to find a resting spot, once again getting in and out of a very fucked up situation.  


* * *

(A/N: Phew, glad to see I finally got this done. Ugh, I hate how school ruins my plans! CURSE YOU! Anyway, hope you enjoyed the chapter and its randomness and more will be coming soon, I hope.)

FoxMcCloud7921


	13. DATELINE: Gay Pokemon?

DATELINE: Gay Pokemon?

Good evening. I am Matt Lauer on this special edition of _DATELINE NBC_. What began in the mid-1990s as small electronic pets for kids has now become a huge phenomenon in the world up to today. We know these creatures as Pockets Monsters, or Pokemon as they are called in the U.S. Selling hundreds of games, cards, merchandise as well as it's own show, Pokemon had become the newest craze in the late 1990's and in the early part of the millennium. However, the company has also seen its part in controversy, causing seizures in China and parents to think it promotes animal fighting. But recently, another incident was created, going hand in hand with another personal topic in America. It had started off with a recent episode of the show, which displayed two male Pokemon falling in love with each other. As the episode progressed, it was shown that a professor was doing this as part of a way to get male Pokemon to like each other better. This has been lead to a cry of outrage in the country and some are asking why such an incident was created in the first place. Lee Cowan has more on this story…

When you think of Pokemon, whether you're an adult or kid, you instantly imagine the series involving those little imaginary creatures that caused a huge craze and phenomenon, producing games, trading cards, etc. But despite its childish antics, there are some controversial topics that have some people, mostly parents, rather alarmed. "It goes so far, that some parents believe Pokemon brainwashes children," Derek Andler said, from Minnesota. "They think the whole thing is meant to have children support, even worship them while casting away God. It's rather sad." Sad indeed, as others compare it to cock-fighting, dog-fighting, etc. "One way, you could see it as training animals to fight one another," Andler said. "But then again, the producers and those making the games do not make it as violent as people would think it is."

But these topics have been around for some time and are usually ignored. Until now, that is. People wonder if showing gay Pokemon on TV would be good for children. Some say yes, but others say it could cause in later life homophobia or perhaps a certain prejudice against them. However, the episode that showed this does have support from certain gay organizations, such as the EAA, or Equal Across America, GLAD, Gay and Lesbian Advocates and Defenders, and the Gay Liberation Front (GLF). All of them had heard about the topic and have all asked the same question: Why not?

"I think it's best for children to understand such a topic when they are younger," one member of the GLF said. "But then again, most who learn it become one-sided due to what their parents believe. Whether or not the topic was meant to be brought up, it still nevertheless makes you think, and you wonder just how much of a problem it is that there's a huge phobia against it."

So, is Pokemon, the beloved franchise known by children and teenagers alike, turning a new leaf on something, or is it merely a misinterpretation? We were not able to get any comments from the producers at this time, but it makes many people think: can Pokemon, who are already questioned enough as is when it comes to relationships, become gay just like humans? The question is up in the air and can only be answered by those who belong to the franchise. I'm Matt Lauer, and this has been a special edition of _DATELINE NBC.  


* * *

_

(A/N: Okay, obviously this was meant to be a joke and of course no such thing is going on right now. At least, I don't think so… Anyway, this is meant to be kind of like an April Fool's Joke. Not to mention I kind of got the idea from reading The Onion. So, hope it was at least SORTA funny. If not, then oh well I suppose.)

FoxMcCloud7921


	14. Interview: Pikachu's Brother

Interview: Pikachu's Brother

"You know, back in 1995, I had no idea the fame were about to receive beginning in the two years afterward," Pikachu said. "Um… the fact, even now, that we're still at the top to me is just amazing. I mean, the generation of people living in this world right now always say how we played an important role in their childhood.

"Well, the climax of our fame probably hit in 1998/1999, when the first movie came out. However, little did I know that was probably the beginning when things got really shitty for me. Now, that year was when the first movie came out, and well, you know what all went down and that was when I got introduced to my brother, who was a clone of me."

"It was kind of a weird introduction," Clone Pikachu said. "I mean, the whole movie was based around cloning shit and all that."

"Well, my brother and I got along at first," Pikachu said. "We were different in some ways but obviously that wasn't a problem."

"We were both partiers," Clone Pikachu said. "But, sometimes I took things a bit too far."

"He likes to go hardcore at parties," Pikachu said. "Probably more than I do. And well… there was gonna be times when I would have to kick his ass."

"Yeah, I've had my experience with drugs," Clone Pikachu said. "I won't lie."

"So, the one night, we were at Roppongi, this club in Japan," Pikachu said. "I had gotten there a bit later than everyone else but once I got there, my brother was already having his way with the women."

"_Hey baby, I got myself a nice resort right here in Tokyo," Clone Pikachu said to an Eevee. "I may be timid in public but you and me alone I let it all come loose!"_

"Well come on, you got all these nice women in the club, guy can't just help himself to seconds," Clone Pikachu said. "You pick out one of each, you know?"

"The thing is, women tended to flock to him like geese," Pikachu said. "As for me, I never tried getting myself into that, besides I had a girlfriend at that point. Anyway, so it was about the summer of 2000 and while still at Roppongi, I had come back into the club little bit later and then-"

"_Blood Brother!" Clone Pikachu yelled, popping out of nowhere and punching Pikachu in the face._

"He just came out of nowhere and got me right in the forehead."

"I remember that was one hell of a punch," Clone Pikachu said. "He had that bruise on his head for almost a week. His girlfriend was worried sick about him."

"And I just stunned by what just happened," Pikachu said. "I just thought he had one too many. I was split in my mind what I wanted to do after that. One part of me thought I should just keep it cool while the other wanted me to curb-stomp his ass.

"So later on, he left with some girls back to his hotel room and I decided to follow him back afterwards. Then, I found him in his room with those same chicks."

"_Pikachu!" Clone Pikachu yelled, getting to his feet._

"And he had his fists raised, as if he was getting ready to bop me again and out of instinct I just pulled a Bruce Lee kick and sent him flying into the mirror behind him."

"He just pulled some random Bruce Lee fighting kick, that was ridiculous," Clone Pikachu said. "The next I remember saying was-" _"Security!" Clone Pikachu yelled, and soon, some of his bodyguards came in, both of them big Machokes. Clone Pikachu then moved over close to the window. "What are you going to do now brother?" he then said. "You can't get out of this one."_

"_You dudes come any closer and I'm sending him out of the window," Pikachu replied._

"_Man, why you gotta be like that?" Clone Pikachu said._

"_Because you punched me right in the head!" Pikachu snapped._

"_I'm sorry brother, I was having too much fun," Clone Pikachu said. "Tell you what." He then pulled out a joint. "As a token of apology."_

"_Man, my head is killing me," Pikachu said, taking the joint and lighting it._

"_Yeah… and I'm probably bleeding in my chest," Clone Pikachu replied.  


* * *

_

"So, the incident at Roppongi blew over," Pikachu said. "But… it wasn't the last time that I would have to kick his ass. So here we go again."

"Cocaine is a hell of a drug," Clone Pikachu said.

"After the second movie he was in finished, it was the last time he was part of the entire script and was pretty much thrown out of it," Pikachu said. "They didn't need him anymore. After that, he started using the money he had and always used it to get either shit-faced or fucked up. Some time later, I was spending one night with my girlfriend. But later on in the night, my brother shows up and he's completely fucked up."

"_Nice house," Clone Pikachu said drunkenly, walking into the living room._

"And I don't even know what the hell he had been doing, but he looked like he spilled random shit on himself and reeked of alcohol," Pikachu said. "Plus I think he was high to."

"_Think I'll lie down," Clone Pikachu said._

"And he just laid down on the couch, and this was all new furniture my girlfriend, flannel and he just got his shit all over the place."

"_That's right bitch!" Clone Pikachu yelled. "Fuck your damn couch! Fuck your couch!"_

"Yeah, I remember doing that to his girlfriend's couch," Clone Pikachu said. "Why? Because she could get another one. It was his money after all."

"At that point, I was just pissed off and luckily my girlfriend wasn't in the room at the time," Pikachu said. "And I just held him down and beat the living shit out of him. I didn't punch him in the face, just everywhere else."

"_You fucking asshole!" Clone Pikachu yelled as he was getting beaten up. "You fucking rich ass motherfucker! Fuck you!"_

"And at that point, he left while dragging himself on the ground because he couldn't move his back legs that well," Pikachu said.

"_They should've never given you assholes money!" Clone Pikachu cried out. "I knew they were gonna throw me out of the script because they always favored you!"_

"And you know, my girlfriend, she's a whole lot more compassionate than I am, after he left, said, "Man, your brother really needs some help." I was like I just gave him help by kicking his ass. But even after that, it wasn't the last time."

* * *

"So there was the incident at Roppongi, which later took place at my brother's hotel room. Then after that was the incident at my girlfriend's house," Pikachu said. "But even after that, it didn't end there. Anyway, we were in L.A., you know doing our regular promoting and all that and that night we went to the Cabana Club."

"Yeah, I remember that night we went down to Cabana," Clone Pikachu said. "This was a true story."

"So when I get there, not much to my surprise, my brother is behind the bar serving drinks," Pikachu said. "I wasn't exactly sure how high or drunk he was until-"

"_Pikachu!" Clone Pikachu yelled across the bar. "My blood brother everyone!"_

"And he had given me the nickname "Blood Brother" because he found the name fitting for me somehow," Pikachu added on. "Of course… the reason was probably obvious. So I go up to the bar and he's talking to me."

"_Hey Pikachu, there's a new joke running around," Clone Pikachu said. "What did the five fingers say to the face?"_

"…_What?" Pikachu replied._

"_SMACK!" All of a sudden, Clone Pikachu reached back and smacked Pikachu right in the face._

"And at that point, I thought, "He's lost his fucking mind,"" Pikachu said. "Because one, you don't smack a dude. I mean, even when smacking was formal back then, in like Paris, France, they would slap you and say, "I challenge you to a duel!" They had a gunfight after that! So pretty much after that, I waited a couple minutes before going back to the bar."

"_That's right bitch, that's right bitch!" Clone Pikachu yelled as two female Pokemon walked away from him. "Ah, Pikachu!"_

"_What's up man?" Pikachu said. "Hey listen man, I gotta tell you something." As Clone Pikachu moved up to listen, Pikachu moved his paw back and hit him in the head, banging his head off the table._

"I smacked the shit out of him," Pikachu said. "I grabbed him and his head went right into the table."

"That is absurd!" Clone Pikachu said.

"And then his eyes water up, like he's about to cry," Pikachu said.

"_What the fuck did you hit me for!?" Clone Pikachu cried out._

"_Because you hit me first!" Pikachu snapped back._

"_Asshole that was weeks ago!" Clone Pikachu yelled._

"_No that was tonight!" Pikachu yelled back. _"And looking in his eyes, I realized he had totally forgotten what had happened."

"_I hit you?" Clone Pikachu said._

"Cocaine is a hell of a drug," Clone Pikachu said.

"_I'm sorry man," Clone Pikachu said. "Brother." He then gave Pikachu a hug. After they broke the hug, he laughed. "This calls for a celebration!" He then motioned two ladies over. "Bitches, I want you to give my brother here a good time tonight!" Pikachu just smiled in response._

"And pretty much after that, it kind of just became a repetitive thing," Pikachu said. "He hits me, I hit him back, it kind of becomes the natural thing we do nowadays. And honestly, I don't mind it anymore."

"You think this kind of thing is normal between us?" Clone Pikachu asked. "Cocaine is a hell of a drug…"

* * *

FoxMcCloud7921


	15. A New Season

A New Season

"Hello viewers!" Pikachu said. "It's been awhile hasn't it?"

"Well of course it's been awhile," Buizel said. "Look at Monferno and Grotle, they evolved."

"Hell yeah!" Infernape said.

"…It's very hard to move…" Torterra said.

"Well anyway," Piplup said. "We're here because… wait, why are we doing this?"

"Because the author believed that if it was him doing it, some asshole viewer would report this to the website," Staraptor said. "I could name at least one but I won't, cause I don't want him involved in this."

"Anyway," Pikachu said. "The reason we're here is because the author won't be doing this story for some time, since he's working on other stuff. So, now he's thinking about splitting all of this into two seasons, and yes, season one is over for all of those who are asking."

"But fear not," Infernape said. "Season two will be just as good and just as random. In fact, I think we have a bit of a sneak preview, right Pikachu?"

"Indeed," Pikachu replied. "This is when we happen to encounter a Pidgeot and Staraptor unfortunately gets into a debate about which native bird is better."

"_Look, more people appeal to me because I look like a fucking hawk," Staraptor said. "And trust me, people like hawks."_

"_Well, people like me for my elegant beauty," Pidgeot said. "Besides, I am after all the original-"_

"_No! Don't even start that shit!" Staraptor snapped. "You think, "Oh I'm one of the 150 original Pokemon, meaning I'm awesome and everyone else after me sucks!" Well guess what asshole, I've seen people playing online and I definitely see more of me than you!"_

"_How the hell do you know how to use a DS?" Piplup asked._

"_My dear friend, I'm afraid you are just too stubborn to understand," Pidgeot said. "But no matter, eventually you'll just be discarded anyway."_

"_What did you say!" Staraptor said heatedly._

"_If your trainer is traveling to a new region, then most likely he'll want a new team," Pidgeot said. "If he came from Kanto, where did his flying-type go? If he was in Johto, where is his Noctowl? I unfortunately was promised by my trainer that he would return to me, but alas he hasn't. Typical humans. But now, if you don't mind, I must be off to bigger and better things. And with that, he took to the air and was gone._

"_Wait a minute… that couldn't have been…nah, no way," Pikachu said._

"So now that you've seen a bit of the new season, we're gonna make you wait some more!" Pikachu said. "Why? Because we're assholes like that."

"Til then, keep reading the author's other stories," Staraptor said. "If you don't, I will find you, stalk you, murder your family, and rip out your fucking-!"

"Whoa now!" Buizel said. "Just, keep in touch and the author you keep you updated."

"So… is that it then?" Pikachu said. "Alright, you can go now. No, seriously, go. Fuck off. We don't want you here anymore."

* * *

FoxMcCloud7921


End file.
